Hi Lucy
In a way it's unfortunate you live so near your brother because everyone automatically thinks you know most about the situation and will know what's best to be done, on the other hand it's fantasic for your nephew that he has you so close.
It's really hard being seen as the 'fixer' in the family. Sometimes that role just gets handed to (or dumped on) you because you're seen to be strong and capable and people tend to lean on you.
What they dont realise is how draining it is for you. I got stuck in the middle of my brother's very dysfunctional marriage, had everyone phoning me, my brother calling in a panic every day - until I couldn't take it anymore. I just had to slowly distance myself from the situation. I was lucky as there were no children involved, but I was not popular with either my brother, my mother or the rest of the family for a long time. They simply didnt understand that I couldn't fix it, and I was drowning.
You have your nephew to look out for, so this is so much harder. Maybe you have to start telling people how this is affecting you. You need to look after yourself so you can look after your own boys and your nephew. I'll bet he thinks you're a hero.
N
x