I noticed that realization88 has not posted since 11-22-07. I want to add my reply to help others who may read the question: "Has anyone here learned to control substance abuse/use without completely giving it up?"
I hope you come to realize that many of use have been there and done that, including reading The Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous", Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism (or addiction).
"Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with or without a solemn oath), taking more exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums-we could increase increase the list ad infinitum."
Here's my story:
I am, what others call, a high-bottom drinker. I did not lose everything. I have a beautiful home, beautiful kids, a wonderful, supportive husband, and a great job. We pay our bills, blah, blah, blah.
This was my monthly drinking routine (or close to it): one drink and stop; next night: one drink and stop; next night: one drink and stop; next night: nothing to drink; next night: two drinks and stop; next night, and three nights in a row: nothing to drink; then- BOOM - I have a drinking binge moment and drink myself to a black-out. I wake up the next morning, nauseated, in pain (body aches and/or headaches) and tell myself over and over - "I can't be doing this to myself". And guess what? I would follow the same pattern. Not drinking a lot. Staying away from it. Switching my choice of alcohol (from hard liquor to beer to wine - guess what? it's all ALCOHOL). Drinking myself to a black-out and hung-over the next morning.
I have been diagnosed "Depressive" and have been on medication for over 12-years. My son was diagnosed ADHD when he was 7-years old. He stopped taking his medication before his 7th-grade. He is 21-years old. He is now dual diagnosed: bi-polar and drug addict. He has been in Recovery since November after a police arrest for attempted arson and 51/50.
I have been in Recovery since January 2008. With the help for my Recovery Program and attending AA meetings (7-10-a-week, every week), I find my support. I listen, I speak, I have learned that others matter, too.
When I hit my 45th day of sobriety I was fighting the "I can do myself" and wanting to take my "control" back. After a hard week, with over 10 meetings that week, plus 3 meetings in my Recovery Program - I fought. I surrendered. I did NOT believe I could control that drinking.
64-days today. I work Step One every morning. I do NOT take that first drink.
Thanks for listening and I'll keep coming back!