I'm a young alkie too, 24 years old am I. I can identify with about everything that has been posted. Sounds to me like you are heading towards a dark and stormy (btw I used to love to drink dark & stormies, when I used to drink em I'd say- "the forecast is dark & stormy!") place better to slow down but its probably best to just stop before it gets sloppy and you make messes all over the place. This is a good place to start indeed. Welcome to the forum. I like not drinking (hard to believe) & I'm a happy person because I stopped. It took rehab, AA (everyday, 90 days & still going) and I'm away from home but I like myself (more) better. Drugs and alcohol controlled my life, consumed my soul and took my self respect. You are not alone.