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Too young to be an alcoholic...??

Old 03-08-2008, 03:30 PM
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Unhappy Too young to be an alcoholic...??

Hi... Well I'm not really sure what to say on my first post. I'm only 21 but I have been having a lot of problems with my drinking for the past 3 years. I don't know if I fit in with the definition of an "alcoholic" because I'm really more of a binge drinker and don't drink everyday (yet). Every time I start drinking, I can't stop. I sneak shots and lie to other people to get more drinks (that's what I'm told). I almost always drink until I blackout. I've tried a million times to just drink "a little", but I always fail. I was drinking about 2-4 times a week in which I would just get completely plastered.

I'm to the point now that I won't even search out people to drink with... I'll just drink by myself if I have to. My boyfriend has been trying to get me to quit, but I can hardly stand going more than two weeks without it. It got to the point that I went out with some friends to eat because I knew I could drink while they ate and then I ended up going to the liqour store afterwards to buy myself some shots which I ended up taking by myself in the car.

When I've gone too long without alcohol, it really begins to take over all of my thoughts. My mind will try and think up all the different ways I could get it or excuses to tell others. I've had my boyfriend begging me not to drink, but once this idea is in my head, I almost always give in to it. I don't know how to make these urges go away or how to get my willpower back. It's miserable when it takes over my thoughts and I feel like I can't have fun without it. I feel like a horrible person because I'm becoming manipulative just so that I can get alcohol and now I've even been lying and sneaking it.

I'm not really sure what to do or if this is the right place. I don't know that I'm a full-fledged alcoholic yet or whatever since I haven't been drinking as long as probably a lot of people. I'm just really worried about where I'm headed now. I get comments from people quite often about my "drinking problem" and even some strangers know me only as "the drunk girl". It seems to be only getting worse and I'm scared that I'm going to lose my boyfriend and become someone that I will hate.

Well... hopefully someone has some thoughts on my situation or some advice on what to do when these "cravings" take over my thoughts.

Thanks.
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Old 03-08-2008, 03:39 PM
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hi silent and welcome to SR

Sounds like your in the right place, most people don't question there drinking like that.

Question is what are you going to do about it?

Do you want to stop?

If you do then uee this site as support and get a prgram here is a list http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

If your going to quit see a Doc and maybe go to a detox.

Kevin
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Old 03-08-2008, 04:15 PM
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No, you are not too young at all.
Your are wise to question your drinking.

Here is a link for you to consider
it's excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Keep posting with us....Welcome to sR!
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Old 03-08-2008, 04:52 PM
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Hello, i'm also a 21 years old, and i'm a full blown addict. I don't think the disease of addiction discriminates with age. It sucks for me being this young and having a problem with drugs and alchol but i've accepted it and i'm taking it one day at a time, this is a good site to be. Keep posting
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Old 03-08-2008, 04:58 PM
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you said,


(quote)

I'm only 21 but I have been having a lot of problems with my drinking for the past 3 years


Alcohol problems? Drinking and driving , loss of job, problems with family etc. ??

I didn't get into trouble very time I drank but, every time, I got into trouble I'd been drinking.

Doesn't take a rocket scientist to put 2 an 2 together age is not important coming to terms with it is!!

Been around a young lay that has 19 years clean sober an she's only 34.

It's good you can open your mind to the fact drinking is a problem for you.
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Old 03-08-2008, 05:00 PM
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Hi silenttruth,

Welcome to SR. It sounds to me like you have a problem with alcohol, and it's messing with your life.

You said you can go 2 weeks without it if you need to, so at least you won't have to go through physical withdrawal - but I reckon you need to know that what you are saying is EXACTLY like me and a whole bunch of other people here on this forum.

I used to do the same thing, sneak drinks, at all hours, until I ended up drinking every day just to go to work and whatnot.

Alcohol is ruining your life, and I think if you didn't drink you would be ashamed and embarrassed by what other people are saying to you and about you - it's all well and good to go "who cares what they think?", but it still hurts.

Please keep reading here, and I would like to add that you're never too young - I was an alcoholic when I was your age, and I still am now. I go to AA, because I get to listen to a whole bunch of stories like yours and some of them are very close to my own experience. Some of them are hilarious, or sad, or heartbreaking or very emotional, but I love hearing other peoples' stories.

Good luck with everything,

ndz
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Old 03-08-2008, 05:25 PM
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Hi and Welcomer to SR

So glad you jumped on here to ask questions. That is why SR is here. Stick around and get to know some people. Hope to see you here.
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Old 03-08-2008, 05:34 PM
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Welcome, just know that you don't have to suffer in silence any more, silenttruth.

It sure sounds like you are already a full fledged alcoholic as you put it.

I was already an alcoholic/addict and in treatment for the first time when I was only 18. Alcoholism knows no boundaries, I'm sure you've heard the sayings that it isn't prejudice of race, nationality, religious preference, sex, social groups ect and that includes age as well. When I put myself in treatment 4 months after I graduated high school, I thought the exact same things you did. I didn't drink every day but when I did, oh, watch out. I wasn't just the drunk girl, I was the drunk b*tch.I turned into someone who, from what I was told, someone I guess I'm glad I can't remember. Blackouts are classic symptoms of alcoholism.

My little sister, Linda, was only a few years older than you when she started a drinking patten just like you. She snuck shots when she thought no one knew, we would all go out to eat, Linda never ate, she drank her dinner. And often, she would go to the restroom at the restaurant and pull a pint out of her purse to do some shots. She said the bartender made her drinks too weak. My sister had a good job, never got a dui, was popular and could have dated just about anyone she choose to. She seemed to have life by it's tail if it weren't for as she called it, problem with drinking too much at times. She would remind everyone who told her that she had a severe problem that our Dad for example, had been drinking for over 30 years and he was fine. On Feb. 15, 1991, Linda began throwing up blood along with chunks of her stomach. She nearly bled out in the 20 minute ambulance ride to the hospital. She would improve, then another major organ would become effected. Linda finally agreed that her drinking was out of control. I think I remember hearing her finally admit that she was an alcoholic. We were overjoyed when she agreed to go straight to the chemical dependency unit in the hospital after her medical discharge on April 3. but, after only two years drinking, it was too late. There was too much damage for her body to recover. She never had a chance to Recover. We buried Linda on April 3 instead of her having a chance to go into treatment and receive help.

No one is ever too young to be an alcoholic or addict.

Please, get help before it's too late for you. Read other posts on here. It will never get better unless you completely stop drinking and work on the reasons why you drank heavily in the first place. Alcoholism is powerful enough that it predicts all of our futures if we continue to drink, it promises us jails, institutions and death.

I encourage you to get help immediately. If I had taken my addiction seriously way back in 1980 when I was 18, I would have saved myself 25 more years of living in a hell that just continued to get worse.

God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy
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Old 03-08-2008, 05:44 PM
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I'm 23 and I am an alcoholic, and I have found that I fit in quite nicely in the rooms of AA. It was my last resort since I didn't think someone 23 could be an alcoholic but I needed to make sure I tried everything to stay stopped. AA was the only thing I didn't try and it's worked better than anything else by far. There are plenty of people I know who are younger than 20 and in AA. I actually know quite a few people who never even had a legal drink since they got sober before 21.

You are not too young, if you think you need help go for it. It sure beats waking up not knowing what you did and how you got home. Not to mention the lifestyle that comes with sobriety. No lying, no cheating or stealing. It's quite freeing.
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Old 03-08-2008, 05:53 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

It seems like you've gotten lots of good advice.

I'm glad you found us.
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Old 03-08-2008, 05:59 PM
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definition of an alcoholic

I heard it put this way and it made complete sense to me....If you think about drinking or you think about NOT drinking, you might be an alcoholic. I recommend the same thing to all people who think they might have a problem. Go to AA and find out. The people there, like the people here, will help you make that decision for yourself.

Just go with an open mind and see if you relate. There are quite a few younger people in the meetings I go to and one of my best friends in the program got sober very young. The point being, you can get off the roller coaster at any point you choose. You don't have to suffer many of the things you will hear about from others in the meetings...

Good Luck silenttruth

God's Peace
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Old 03-08-2008, 06:01 PM
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truth, welcome to the family!

some advice on what to do when these "cravings" take over my thoughts.
truth, dopey slogan time at SR

"It the first drink that gets us drunk"

you see, in reality, the cravings do not start til after we take that first drink...

simple as that...

we have to learn how to not want that first drink!

another dopey slogan...

"its not the caboose that kills us, its the engine'

the desires and thoughts have to be delt with too...

good wishes on your journey truth

rz
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Old 03-08-2008, 06:57 PM
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I'm a young alkie too, 24 years old am I. I can identify with about everything that has been posted. Sounds to me like you are heading towards a dark and stormy (btw I used to love to drink dark & stormies, when I used to drink em I'd say- "the forecast is dark & stormy!") place better to slow down but its probably best to just stop before it gets sloppy and you make messes all over the place. This is a good place to start indeed. Welcome to the forum. I like not drinking (hard to believe) & I'm a happy person because I stopped. It took rehab, AA (everyday, 90 days & still going) and I'm away from home but I like myself (more) better. Drugs and alcohol controlled my life, consumed my soul and took my self respect. You are not alone.
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Old 03-08-2008, 07:20 PM
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I'm 22 and will have two months sober on Wednesday. I know for a fact I was a full-blown alcoholic before I was twenty. I lost boyfriends, dropped out of school, the whole shebang.

It's awesome to get sober this young. At our age we have a lot less to lose, and a lot more to gain by getting sober now.

Welcome to SR. There's a lot of experience here, a lot of love, and quite a few young folks.
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Old 03-08-2008, 07:57 PM
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It is true, alcoholism does not discriminate by age. There are those who become alcoholic at age 9. To young? Absolutely, but the craving kicks in no matter what the age. Alcoholism is also progressive.
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Old 03-09-2008, 08:01 AM
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Originally Posted by silenttruth View Post
I'm not really sure what to do or if this is the right place.
Hi Ruth!
It sounds like alcohol is causing trouble in your life, so I guess you'll be in good company here.:bounce
Let us know how you're doing.
Good luck.
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Old 03-09-2008, 09:50 AM
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Silenttruth, only you can decide whether you have an alcohol problem. There is no such thing as being "too young" to be addicted to something. Without launching into my personal saga, let's just say I wish I'd questioned myself when I was your age - not long ago, but every single moment counts.

Welcome to SR, I hope you explore the resources that have been provided to you so you can figure it out for yourself - one tip though: be honest with yourself

Be well,
Matt
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Old 03-09-2008, 09:53 AM
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I don't know that I'm a full-fledged alcoholic yet or whatever since I haven't been drinking as long as probably a lot of people.
Only you have the right to call yourself an alcoholic; but, it does sound like you've passed all the "tests"...and, no, you're not too young to come to the realization.

My suggestion would be to go to AA meetings for the next three months...of course, while you're not drinking (if possible). By the end of that time, you should have established a good network of support and an excellent program of recovery. You should also be more comfortable in accepting alcoholism as an "equal opportunity disease" that doesn't discriminate...there are all ages, ethnicity, economic status, etc. of alcoholics.
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Old 03-09-2008, 02:20 PM
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Thanks for all the welcomes!! I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing that I can relate so well to what everyone has said here, but it is SO refreshing that there are other people who understand what this is like. I constantly feel horrible when my boyfriend gets me to promise to not drink or even sometimes begs me not to but I still do. I think a lot of times he just doesn't think that I care enough about him or that my promises are worthless... ehh... that really starts to get to me. I feel horrible about it, but yet I keep doing it. I'm really scared that I will lose him to this. I've already caused a lot of problems in almost all the other relationships I've been in with people. It's definitely a blow to the self-esteem and unfortunately more reason to drink.

I know most the people here are dedicated to becoming sober or are actually sober, but I don't know if I can/am ready for that yet. I need to stop because I don't want to ruin my life and lose the people I love, but it seems that nothing matters in the moments the "urges" hit. In my mind, it will just be "a few drinks" or I will just get a buzz... or I'm just going to go play some drinking games like everyone else does... but what it always turns into is me having as many drinks as possible until I eventually wake up in bed or on the bathroom floor with no idea how I got there. No matter my intentions, I always end up too drunk, but yet why in the hell can't I convince myself of this?? I'm guessing this is all a part of it. Where your mind convinces you a few drinks really isn't a big deal or that people won't be that mad at you or whatever. It seems relentless until I finally give in to it and drink. It seems so freaking hopeless sometimes, but everyone here has probably gone through this and more so I guess there has to be hope.

Right now my mind still has me convinced that I NEED to be drunk, and I just don't know how to get out of this frame of mind. I'm actually scared to be sober. I'm afraid that if I don't fix this now, I'm going to lose everything and completely give in to this...

So thank you so much for the support already and I hope that I will be able to follow in everyone else's paths here...
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