Hi JT and SIDMOM
I know I have struggled with this whole idea of expectations too.
It still comes down to the fact that you cannot change anyone but yourself. We can continue to have wonderful expectations of our ducks but they are still OUR expectations and our ducks still have THEIR choices. .their free-will. Even to choose to slowly kill themselves with drugs and alcohol.
Years ago a therapist said to me that he thought a truly healthy person would eventually out grow a relationship with an addict. I guess that means as we get better we move on to choosing people who can be there for us and not settle. I know this statement really shocked me at the time but it certainly makes more sense now.
After all these years of dealing with this disease of addiction in one way or another nothing surprises me. It truly is a trudge to the road of happy destiny (hopefully for some of us).
Peace Mo