drainedwife

hi everyone..its been a while...my computer at home hasnt been working....im at work now....

anyway, i believe my ah has stopped using coke for 3-4 weeks. his behavior is better, he's been going to bed every night at around 11:00, and he's been going to work every day. we are also seeing a new marriage counsler.
This new counsler said that maybe we should acknowledge that the old marriage is over--and begin a new one with new expectations. He also said that when one person has issues in a marriage and wants change, the other doesnt like it.....but basically that the partner needs to know the "scope" of what is needed and if they want to "be a partner" than fine, but if not, than then it needs to be looked at, or however he put it, i forgot his exact words.
my ah was saying then his dream about being a "cleaver family" is over....in other words, he likes when the kids some to me more for things, he likes that i "do more" around the house and with them.....he thinks it should be that way.

I disagree...especially since i am working full-time as well. he has helped out somewhat more in the last few months, but i still do much more....he now thinks this counlser is not going to help us, and that he (the counsler has even given up)....

I am also having a problem with letting go of the past 2 years...the therapist said you cant let go, because everyone has an unconscious that you carry around with you....things have to be dealt with..im just so sad about what has happened to me and what i had to go through dealing with everything, and maybe its so hard to deal with also because i was abandoned by my dad at age 13.

just wanted some advise...thoughts,,input....thanks!!!!