Just need to vent tonight
I'm rather pissed off. I need to vent a little. My addicted step-daughter 19 year old got herself booted from her second rehab. To be fair, it was a very strict place and she got herself booted for repeated minor rule infractions rather than relapse or any big blow-up. Still, she got herself booted.
We've been trying to find a third rehab, but some problems beyond our control came up and it is taking longer than we expected. She is attending a local outpatient program. She failed to show up there twice this week, once after I dropped her off a block from the place!
Here's what's pissing me off. She's moping around, acting like a victim, feeling sorry for herself and now accusing us of treating her like a 12 year old! The only rules are that she attend the out patient program and get to bed by 11:00 so that she can get up in the morning to get there. We only made that rule because of the days that she claimed she was too tired to go.
I agree that sometimes her mom is too strict on the curfew. A few nights ago she was out with a friend who is also in the out patient program. I called her to ask when she would be home. She said by midnight. I knew that her mom wouldn't like it, but I know that my step-daughter has said she just wants to do some things that a normal 19 year old does, like staying out a little late. They were going to a hookah (tobacco) bar and then to watch a friend perform in a band.
My idea was that if she got home on time and then made it to her program, I would make the case to her mom that she could be trusted to set her own curfew. Well, she got home at 1:30AM instead of midnight. I dropped her off at her program the next day, but she never signed in.
She's relapsed at least once since being home and we suspect from her behavior a few more times.
Now, she's pissed off at us as if this is OUR fault. Well grow up! We didn't stick a needle in your arm. You did. We didn't get you booted from two rehabs. You did.
We don't want to make rules for her, but she can't live in our house if she is going to use and unless she is in treatment. She was in college with an off-campus apartment and all the freedom in the world. What did she do with that freedom? Get herself hooked on heroin! She hates our rules? If she hadn't messed up in one of the worst possible ways, she wouldn't have to live with our rules.
There. It feels better to vent.