I remember feeling crazy also. There were two realizations that I had to come to in order to get sane again, and neither of them is easy.
1.) I am not responsible for another adult. The consequences he suffers are due to his choices, they are not because of me.
2.) What feels like helping is really just the opposite. By saving him from his own consequences, I made the problem worse. He had no reason to do anything differently because there were no negative results he had to live with.
L