My life is a mess. He's ruined it and I don't know how to stay strong and move forward. I feel like maybe I should just give in...one more time... and live this way. I know that's not the right answer, but I am emotionally exhausted.
Maybe if you quit giving in you wouldn't feel like your life was a mess anymore and you might not be emotionally exhausted.
The best thing to do when you are stuck in a rut is to stop digging. :-)