Imallright - I've been right where you are. I went about all this a little backwards, by the time I got here and into f2f meetings, while everyone was advising me I shouldn't make any rash decisions regarding my marriage, I had just spent 2 years watching it die and the final 3 months over the summer when I finally called it quits. The thing is, I didn't know until about 3 weeks or so later that I was dealing with an addict. I did stop pushing the divorce through, but it's been a long 5+ months. The guilt. OMG. I've been getting the you're not willing to work on the marriage, you're the one walking away, etc. Are you kidding me? After years of begging, pleading, rationalizing, etc. for a partner, friend, intimacey, etc. and having him "try" (maybe) for a week or so and then back to his comfort zone. I knew I had tried everything I knew how, including therapy for myself, to make this marriage work for me and it never had so it was finally time for me to call it over and done. I have had to hang on to past angers and resentments, because when I let them go, he started working in there - like it was a crack in the armor, and for me to stick to my guns this time, I have had to keep those angers and resentments close as a reminder of how I got here, but I also know that I am ready to let those feelings go. they are only a tool for me at this point.
Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do. What has been said above is true, you have to do for you- no one else. Even your children (altho I'm sure they are accounted for and weighed in). Point is, no one else knows how you feel or what got you to the breaking point but you. Not really, and their opinions on whether they agree or not with whatever decision you reach does not matter. Those other people are not going to have to live your life! Your kids are going to grow up, go away to school, get jobs, get married, etc. This is your life, make sure you take the time to make the best choice for you!