One thing that I have learned from my program of Al-anon is that we don't have to act on feelings, we just have to feel them. Also we don't have to , and shouldn't, make any decisions when we first begin our recovery from all of this.
i know at the beginning, when I first accepted that there was a problem so many feelings and emotions flooded me. I had ignored, denied, shoved them down for so long it was as if a trap Door opened and they all came out and I could no longer put them away.
when this happened I wanted to act immediately to the hurt and anger. I like answers to problems. I don't like the unknown at all. Especially now that I have found some of these problems have been around for awhile.
but i have found such peace in just taking in the feelings, acknowledging them, and accepting them, but holding decisions off until i can really wrap myself around what it is I want. Not just today but for my life. I'm okay with knowing that might take me awhile to figure out.
I needed some space from my spouse to do this but I'm in no hurry to divorce or move back in. I'll know when I AM READY to make a decision. this is new for me since I'm used to making decisions based on what would be best for everyone else. But I have no children at home which made it easier.
I just wanted you to know you don't have to make any decisions today.
Work your own program, be a mom, ask him for time and patience, and take care of you and eventually you'll know what you really want and need and it won't be based on anger or fear or disappointment.
Praying for all of us dealing with this.
Cathy