You haven't lost the light...don't worry. Sometimes the tunnel bends a bit and we think the light is gone. But as we keep doing the next right thing and moving forward, we pass the bend and see that light again.
I've found that vulnerable times like you describe are when I need to push myself to interact and not isolate. I need to come here; it helps. I also get myself to a meeting. Often when I am in that kind of state, I don't feel up to sharing...I almost can't articulate what I'm feeling. But just stepping into the rooms and feeling the serenity, being surrounded by people who care...that restores my sense of balance and helps me over the hump.
You've had so much to deal with and not too much time to process. Perhaps give yourself the time to grieve the loss of this relationship...just take the pain out for a little bit, let it see the day, then gently put it aside and go on moving forward.
Hug...Prayers for you and your folks too!