Recovery isn't about THEM, it's about YOU. That means you walk your own path when you go through recovery. Recovery was not "lovey dovey" for me either - not by any stretch.
Here is a rough outline of my recovery:
Like you, I was bitter, anxious, had problems with authority figures, had horrible personal relationships etc. *I* decided one day that *I* didn't want to be this way anymore. I let get of caring about *how* I got this way, I decided to focus on figuring out how to *not* be this way anymore because, quite frankly, I didn't like myself.
I took 3 years "off" from humanity. I became a social hermit. I watched people around me, I looked at my own behavior. I read a lot on Zen Buddhism. I still had no idea that my issues resulted from the alcoholics in my life, but I began to make changes based on what I saw in others that I liked and disliked and what I wanted to be like.
I re-entered counseling (I'd done it before, but at each step along the way, I was addressing single-issues, since I didn't know jack about ACoA issues, I wasn't able to look at the whole, and was addressing the parts instead).
I have never attending an AlAnon meeting.
I won't say that I have "forgiven" my parents, but I will say that I now understand them. They only had one tool in their tool box, and when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Now I have pity for them, though I don't feel strongly towards them, either lovingly or in hatred.
I learned to separate the actions *I* wanted to take from the actions others were trying to evoke in me. I learned that *I* was the master of my own actions. I learned to set boundaries and I learned to defend those boundaries. I learned that secrets are only secrets if only one person knows about them. I learned that the sins of my parents are not my sins and that I am not tainted by the decisions they made in their lives.
Entering recovery does not mean you have to do touchy feely lovey dovey things. It means that you are at a point where you don't like your own behavior, and you admit that you can't seem to change it on your own, and you admit that you *want* to change it. From where I sit, it sounds like you've already "entered" recovery, you just don't know it yet, and you're in the early stages of it. Often times, we don't see our own recovery until we can look back on it.
Recovery can feel like the infamous Pandora's Box when you first start. It can be terrifying and feel like you have no idea what is going to come spilling out of you, or whether you'll be able to control it or not. I can assure you that your psyche will not allow any more to come out than you are ready to process at that moment in time. I can also assure you that, whatever path you take in your own recovery, you will be glad you did it in the long run.
I used to tell people that if I met myself at a party, I wouldn't like me. That is no longer true. Now, if I met myself at a party, I could hold a long and interesting conversation with myself and walk away with a positive impression of myself. THAT'S what recovery is about. I'm still not a tremendously lovey-dovey person, that's not who I am. I'm very practical and somewhat geeky. My recovery lead down a path that was best suited to me. There is not just one path to recovery. Finding one that suits you may take a fair bit of trial and error (it took 6 tries, but I've finally figured out what kind of therapist works well for me), but if you are motivated to change, you will eventually find a path that works well for you and doesn't make you feel awkward.