Hi Warrior,
You are in a tough spot but I admire how you are handling it thus far. You know this is his burden to bear, and you want to help but are not willing to sacrifice your happiness or your child's on that altar. Good for you.
I lived for 7 years with an alcoholic who drank to self-medicate for depression, unhappiness, and feelings of low self-worth. I would love to say that I found a magical equation for helping him with these things so that he would be free of his desire to drink, but I have to say I didn't.
Your husband sounds like he internalizes a great deal, and doesn't trust you (or perhaps anyone) enough to discuss his work problems. He also seems to not care a great deal about your feelings on the matter of his drinking. Since you can't help if you're not "in the loop" this puts you in a very bad situation. And if one half of a marriage has decided that the other one's feelings don't matter....you'll want to tread carefully. I take it he's not interested in any kind of counseling either?
If he's choosing a path that leads him to alcohol dependency, that's unfortunate. Are you good at setting boundaries? I'm sure you've read up a bit on these on the forum. What are your boundaries? Does he drink around you and your child? Does he know that his drinking is driving you away, and that you intend to act to protect yourself? Sometimes, being honest about a situation can help you get through it with your integrity and your pride intact.
In my situation, I eventually had to say, "I don't want to live with your alcohol dependency any more. I love you and I am willing to stay and be your support system if you're trying to get help, but I'm not willing to stay if you're not." When he chose not to get help, I was then able to move on with my life with much less guilt and heartache than I would've if I'd not been honest about my feelings. It was still very hard, but it was a "clean pain" of doing the right thing, not dirtied by doubts about whether I did the right thing.
I don't know if any of this helps, but I just wanted to say hello and share my story.
Take care of yourself...