Good for you, SD.
I disagree however, that stuff like this is unrelated. It is all related.
Addiction cause this hopelessly tangled mess of fishing line that has no beginning and no end. Trying to untangle it only tangles it more. At some point we must simply cut the mess and throw it away. Respool our reels because it is not only futile, but counterproductive to sort it out.
There are those in AA who say that addiction, recovery, and new relationships are incompatible. I tend to agree. I also agree that she made the best choice-for her. Smart kid.
Two years divorced and three years sober I embarked on a new relationship. Too soon, in retrospect. But I got lucky. For every rule there is an exception and I have one incredible woman who is now going through some stuff that she did not deserve. But she is up to the task as long as I am. Anyone know what gratitude is?
Aside from her, I too have been an isolate. Drank alone, bore my shame and guilt alone. In the past few weeks I have taken some big risks, however. I have reached out. And it paid off. So many are holding my hand now. It will take me a while, but I will never return to my cave. Earlier this week I stumbled onto a belief of mine. Came from writing here. Suddenly I thought, "When we become lovable, we will be loved." I really believe this and I hope you can too. Right now you are lovable to us drunks. Get past your "stuff" and the rest of the world will cease to fear you. They will see who you are.
By letting go of that sadness and pain, even in cyberspace, you have accomplished much. My kids have suffered through various love affairs. I would tell them, "The price of love is ALWAYS pain." If nothing else, death will claim one. But true love is worth that pain. It is always worth it to try for love.
Come to think of it, recovery is always worth the pain. Makes us lovable. This may the wrong night for you to believe that, but perhaps you can "vision it." At the young age of 30 you could be on the Isle of Cyprus with your love. Could happen, you know.
Have a brave evening, my friend. I send you all my strength.
warrens