Here's a different perspective on this. From "A Daughter's Side"
I answered another thread earlier today from this angle as well. I hope this gives the Mom and Dads out there an insight of what goes through our minds on things like this. Now, know that I'm no longer using, I've been in Recovery for over 2 1/2 years. I asked my Mom similiar questions while I was using.
Dear Mom,
What do you see when you look at me? Can you tell how much pain I'm in? Do you realize that I don't mean the things I say to you? I wish you could understand how lost I am right now, even though I act like I have all the answers, I don't know s*#t! I'm more frightened now than I was when I woke up from a bad dream as a child. I was all alone in the dark, afraid to turn over, afraid to open my eyes, afraid to put my feet on the floor and run to you. It seemed like no matter what I did I was still scared. But, I knew when I called out to you and you came to my rescue, I felt safe, secure and happy once again. Mom, as much as you have tried, you can't come to my rescue while I'm living this nightmere! You can't chase away the Boogie Man, you can't turn on the lights and make everything better this time. I hear you yelling for me to open my eyes, to see the truth. To see what is real and what isn't.
Mom, I love you, I really do. I know you don't understand. To be honest with you, I don't either. But I want you to know, I appreciate everything you have done and are trying to do. But you can't fix me. I only hope I can fix myself. I just don't know how right now.
Someone else's Daughter