Skeetermag, My AH had been on painkillers for 7 years. I understand what you mean about the cycle of use. I got to the point where I would even think, "I wish he'd take some more pills," just to give me some peace. I know that sounds awful, but it was at that point. Keep reading this forum, because there is a lot of good info here. My AH also got very irrational and unreasonable when he was deep into his addiction. It literally drove me crazy trying to have a rational conversation with him! It is a very scary thing to see somebody taken over like that. I agree with the others that you need to set your boundaries as to what kind of behavior you expect.