Thanks my friends for your prayers and kind words. You have been with me from the start. You know how far I have come and you can see my voyage. I am so grateful you are in my life.
I talked over coffee with my sponsor after the meeting tonight. I felt guilty being away from sick children but they are old enough to be alone and resting and I needed to talk.
You know after talking to my sponsor, it seems I was "keeping the brandy for Christmas cooking".
What a crock! We had a really good laugh - nearly fell off our chairs.
I knew it was there. I would never have used it in my cooking. I'm an alcoholic who doesn't want to drink for goodness sake. What is this? Why does my mind do that? O and there's another little nearly empty bottle of white wine - sweet - in my pantry. I kept that because it might have been a nice taste in my cooking as well. I thought it would be ok because I figured the alcohol would have evaporated by now. I have no words for how confused I am about the depth of my disease. I am totally baffled.
Here I was being all recovered and still harbouring little bottles around the place.
So...they are gone now. I can only laugh at myself and hope to learn more about the danger I am in daily without even realising.
I talked about the resentments I am having at work and my fear of financial insecurity. I have an action plan for tomorrow and service to do in my study group.
Goodnight. I love you guys. Prayers heading your way.