Hi Ellen,
Unfortunately, things don't get better by themselves, at least that's been my experience. My dad stopped drinking 12 years ago, after I moved out, but the damage was done long before that. For the past 2 1/2 years I've been digging into my issues, which are a direct result of me growing up with an alcoholic father and codependent mother. It's been hard and very painful, but at least now I'm understanding why I have such problems relating to others and now I'm slowly but surely getting better.
So do yourself a huge favor and check out that ACOA meeting.
Hugs,
JG