ellen305

Hi all.I planned to attend an ACOA for the first time today, but I chickened out at the last minute. I suddenly felt guilty and I figured since the situation is no longer occurring than maybe I'm making a big deal of things. However I just finished reading DR. Jan's book Adult Children of Alcoholics and after relating to a good bit of it I figure, although my father is no longer drinking that doesn't mean I have resolved all my issues. Emotionally I think I'm still in that period. I grew up in home where fighting was a regular occurrence and I often came home with a sense of dread not knowing what the evening held in store. I could predict it wouldn't be peaceful judging by the glaze looks my father and older sibling had. Anyhow, I realize I have a hard time opening up to people, forming decent relationships, I cling to bad ones, I people please at times, etc. Do things get better?

journeygal

Hi Ellen,

Unfortunately, things don't get better by themselves, at least that's been my experience. My dad stopped drinking 12 years ago, after I moved out, but the damage was done long before that. For the past 2 1/2 years I've been digging into my issues, which are a direct result of me growing up with an alcoholic father and codependent mother. It's been hard and very painful, but at least now I'm understanding why I have such problems relating to others and now I'm slowly but surely getting better.

So do yourself a huge favor and check out that ACOA meeting.

Hugs,
JG

Peter

I would also encourage you to go to the meeting.

The damaging effects of growing up in an alcoholic family will NOT go away because our parents stop drinking.

12stepmarce

Things get better when I became willing to change. Until then......nope.

JT

Hi Ellen,

Go to that meeting next time. You will find people just like you.

Living in alcoholic homes we are affected long after the initial trama ends. As you are finding out difficulty in relationships is huge.

Stay in touch,
JT