It shows me that irrespective of how I treat her (good or bad, nice or mean) I will get addict behavior, I will get blamed for things that I did not do and have no control over.
This one is a toughie when it comes to our kids, Marle. I mean, I got it with my exah, but it still blindsides me with my child... It's so hard to shut off our feelings, though. I do remind myself sometimes that I have never once "blamed" MY mother for anything that has gone wrong in MY life! This at least helps me to realize that I did not cause my son's addictions and to relieve myself of that guilt. I really admire you, Marle, and I send you prayers and a hug for jumping right back to step one. Sigh, sometimes it looks like the "no contact" for a while rule is the only one to use to protect ourselves from their addiction. It's such a sad state when THEY don't remember or recognize all the pain their words can cause, but we seem to remember ALL of it... Quack, quack, quack, sister.