I used to talk to myself in the mirror and say "You are NEVER going to live like that again." In the house, in the car, wherever I could find a mirror! Once I made a list of reminders, where each sentence started with "He WILL ....." like remember, "he will threaten you", any bad thing he had ever done that scared or hurt me. This reminded me of what I never wanted to experience again in life and didn't have to. I also resisted urges to call him when I was having an anxiety moment. By the next morning the moment was gone and I was so glad I'd resisted. Now if I have one of those moments, it passes within minutes! It's been a few years since my divorce, but it IS a lot easier now.