Head games
My ah was here tonight, last time I saw him was 3 weeks ago when he told me he would be right back with money for my mortgage. We have a lot to iron out, I told him ( finally ) I want to divorce.
Then he gets into the "poor me" head games...how the breakup was all my fault, (he's been living with agf for 4 years) and when he tried to come back, nothing ever changed. He has no money, etc, etc.
After all this time he still has so much power to hurt me, I just can't seem to let go. I feel guilty every time I see him, yet he's the addict, he's the one who spent ALL of the money we had, he's the one who left, and has not made any attempt whatsoever to contact his grown kids.
I'm so tired of feeling guilty, and I need some advice to help me put all of the happy years in a special place in my heart, and let the worst years go. I'm going to need strength to get through this, and to harden my heart and not feel sorry for him. It's not easy to start over at age 54, but I have to, and need to make a lot of changes.
Sorry for the ramble, I guess I need to see it in black and white to try to make sense of it all.