Hi, folks.
This is the third time getting sober for me. The first time was twenty years ago when I started going to AA largely because all my friends were getting sober and I didn't have anyone to play with anymore. Musta learned something in spite of myself because I stayed sober for 7 years.
Then, I drank "successfully" for a few years before things got crazy again and I knew I had to quit...so off to AA I went again in 2002. This time I stayed sober for 5 years.
And here's what happened...
A little over two years ago, I had gastric bypass surgery. Before then, I was pretty oblivious to how much I relied on food for comfort, even though my weight had risen dangerously high. Long story short, my other addictions started kicking in big time...obsessively working, spending money, taking prescription medication inappropriately...and when I couldn't get the meds anymore, I turned back to an old "friend"...booze.
Trouble was, my body was different this time around. I'm missing about 4 feet of intestine, so alcohol hits my system fast and hard. Before, my drinking resulted in a few nasty hangovers, but never blackouts or full blown withdrawals. Not so this time. I don't really have hangovers (with the headaches & throwing up), but after about 12-18 hours without a drink, I begin shaking and sweating...like the detoxing I've read about from many of you. And for the first time I really believe that drinking can kill me, and I'm scared.
So after a couple of weeks of research and talking to friends, arrangements are made at home, at work, and the treatment center, and I'm off to rehab in the morning.
And I'm bloody scared to death.
A part of me, though, is excited to finally get to deal with some of these lifelong issues, but another part of me is scared knowing that it's going to be hard, and fearing that I'll fail...again.
So any words of encouragement, or sharing your own rehab experiences would be SO appreciated.
Thanks for letting me yammer on a bit. Hope to talk to y'all again in...ohhh...3-4 weeks.
