Oh, Cinder. Sometimes rageaholism is just normal, ordinary people reacting to abnormal, anything-but-ordinary stress. Who knows what the impetus for your grandparents' rage was! What we do know is that the behavior is learned and the family disease creates a cycle that repeats itself again and again. Usually rage comes from a person feeling that their life is totally out of control and the only way to get a handle on it again is to bite down HARD. Rage is usually the outward manifestation of terror.
You are such a beautiful person, Cinder. I have exchanged thoughts and ideas with you for many months and I have met you in person and been inspired by your heart and your strength and your fortitude!
Your rage will gradually ebb when your pain lessens. When your fear lessens. When you no longer have to be terrified by living on the very edge of catastrophe. You have dealt with all the responsibility for your life and your kids for SOOOOO long that you have come to believe that you should be able to do all you do and still think like Pollyanna.
You are human, Cinder. When being afraid that your kids will go hungry is no longer a problem, I bet rage will no longer be a problem either....
YOU ARE AMAZING, GIRLFRIEND!!!!
Mwah!
Babs