Thank you all
Believe it or not, I am finding that my "loner" attitude doesn't work. I have done a lot of soul searching in the past couple of days and I realize I need help. I came to this forum out of desperation. I did a search on losing hope or something like that (details are cloudy) and this forum was in the search. I have since done the search in a number of ways and I can't seem to find it. I am really convinced that it was an act of God to find this place and all of you. I really hope you don't mind if I lean on you guys because it helps.
As of this day I am not sober.
I have made a decision to go to a meeting on Monday and see what goes from there.
When I did AA before I did not have a sponsor. I had phone numbers from people who were willing to help me but I did not want to bother anyone. Is that what a sponsor is?
(i only did AA for a short time).
what are the steps? I have some prayer cards for some steps? How do I get over my fear of judgment from people?
I really want to be sober again. But all the Pain goes away when I am not sober