thank you everyone............
Its been a rollercoaster day but believe it or not I feel great, I really truely do
I am standing strong and my fear is getting better
I have spoken to him many times today
heard I'm hungry I'm cold I'm going to do this and that and I cant do this...............and everytime I said
ok its your decision, or NO
or I'm sure you'll work it out
sometimes gave opinions but not to much tried really hard not to.........
and this am I was even feeling like he may be back out there using and I talked to myself, a good hard long talk about whats his choice and whats mine and I think we ( me and myself ) have finally got this whole detach with love.............yes we have
I feel less angry less sad more hopeful and even encouraged ABOUT ME!
when I thought maybe hed already gone back out I decided that if he had, then maybe thats what he needed to do....and so be it
and as for him killing himself >>>>>>>>>>>>>I have decided that he really is in gods hands and that he wont be able to succeed no matter how he tries..............UNLESS the HP is done and says OK enough chances come home...............but until that time I ccant keep him alive and he cant take his life only my HP makes that decision and right now I will have faith that that is not the plan..............
thank you everyone keep those prayers coming I feel it I really do!!!
LOVE you alll and am so grateful to have everyone one of you