Thank all of you so much for your words of experience, and support. I hear what everyone is saying, and it makes so much sense. It really has me thinking. Yesterday when this happened, I felt like I had nowhere to turn. I'm embarrassed to tell my family, even though they know our past. I just feel ashamed. Afterall, I've been planning our wedding for this year.
But as I type this I think about the timing. Maybe this is God's way of giving me a way out right before I planned on moving in with him, and right before our planned wedding. Maybe that is why I had a miscarriage a year ago. When I asked God three years ago to give me a sign if this was meant to be - He sold my car. Just coincidences? hmmm.
He left me a message this morning. Apologizing for lying, but not for using. He wants us to sit down and talk about it. Talk about what? I thought we talked about it before, and he still chose to use. He made that decision on his own. The sad part is, if I did choose to stay, I would not be happy. I would be choosing his happiness over my own.
When he sold my car, my father told me something that sticks in my head till this day. "Never let your sympathy outweigh your interest." And that has been the case. I've been with him because I feel "sorry" for him. Like I can "help" him. And I know that that's not right.
One day I overheard his conversation with a friend. He said that he had a history of using women. Maybe he has been using me this whole time.