Little Lioness, I sure wish there was some guaranteed formula to not let our kids grow up as codependents or as addicts either...I think we can just do completely the best we can do, and I know that by being there for your daughter, by comforting her and listening to her, you are being a wonderful mom.
There are some wonderful traits most codependents have...empathy, caring, love...so it isn't all bad. Giving her every chance to do things on her own and succede...letting her try and fail, get up and try again with gentle encouragement from you..I think all those things can help build self esteem.
No easy answers, but lots of prayers for you and your family. It's good to see you here!