Déjà Vu

Old 02-12-2008, 06:14 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 23
Déjà Vu

Yesterday, I had one of those "deja vu" moment. My daughter was angry at me and I could hear her in her bedroom saying to her teddy bear my mom doesn't love me anymore, and so on. I saw myself many years ago in my room crying and saying the same thing to my teddy.... I did what my mom didn't do for me, I went to see her and confort her, I'm so afraid she is gonna end up a codie like me. How can you prevent this. Pregnant with her, because of everything I went through with my RAH, I wished she would be strong, stubborn, etc... she is everything I wished for and even more.

My daughter is really special for me, she is what carried me through the terrible time we had with RAH, she was the person that kept me sane. I'm so afraid somehow she will end up a codie like me. We are such alike. I can i avoid it?? I don't have such worries about my son. He does not know addiction, RAH sobriety started before he was born. My daughter is a survivor, but she is damaged by what she saw and lived. I'm trying everyday to boost her confidence, to learn her how to love and be loved, but there is no guarantee I will ever succeed.

Sorry for the rambling, I guess it was just one of those moments.
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Old 02-12-2008, 06:24 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
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Little Lioness, I sure wish there was some guaranteed formula to not let our kids grow up as codependents or as addicts either...I think we can just do completely the best we can do, and I know that by being there for your daughter, by comforting her and listening to her, you are being a wonderful mom.
There are some wonderful traits most codependents have...empathy, caring, it isn't all bad. Giving her every chance to do things on her own and succede...letting her try and fail, get up and try again with gentle encouragement from you..I think all those things can help build self esteem.
No easy answers, but lots of prayers for you and your family. It's good to see you here!
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