Hey Steve, thank you.
Yes, I was "asked to resign" No blemish on the official record. I had to write a letter.
I just find it incredibly amusing that I'm let go for something that I'm working so hard to correct, and haven't done for a while ("long time" is reserved for you real long-timers.) They asked if I had ever been under the influence at work, I said "yes, but..." And left it at that. Just stopped and said "whatever we have to do." Probably the quickest termination they've ever done. The look on the boss' face was priceless. I think they expected me to deny and bargain. Not to be.
I only need to explain myself to my loved ones and my support group (including everyone here!)
I hated, hated, hated my job. I think I will be much better off. Besides, the home office called today and placed me on "administrative leave." Meaning, I'm getting paid to find a new job. Sorry to any supervisor/manager types out there, but yeah, I'm not going back. Even when my leave is up.