Originally Posted by
denny57 
How it has worked for me is that I no longer consider it a horrible period in my life. That is huge. Working through it has led me to a place where I don't look at the negatives of it as outweighing the positives. It's too complicated for that. I don't have to make it horrible to justify the actions I took and continue to take. The black and white thinking is gone. It doesn't mean I'm wishy washy on any of it, nor do I excuse the alcoholic's behavior. When I keep the focus on me, I am not inclined to make things into this or that; or one or the other; hate or love. When I think about it, I don't just eat a veg or a piece of meat, I eat the entire platter.
Denny- I am trying to understand this. Are you saying that now you look at it as more of a positive experience than you did when you were in the throes of it? One of my problems- I think- is that I want to be able to understand everything- to put it all into a nice, neat little box. It's much too messy for that. Where I am losing you is where you say: "When I keep the focus on me. . ." Can you explain? Thanks. Paj