Originally Posted by
Pajarito 
I want to be a healthier person so that I can learn from this horrible period in my life
How it has worked for me is that I no longer consider it a horrible period in my life. That is huge. Working through it has led me to a place where I don't look at the negatives of it as outweighing the positives. It's too complicated for that. I don't have to make it horrible to justify the actions I took and continue to take. The black and white thinking is gone. It doesn't mean I'm wishy washy on any of it, nor do I excuse the alcoholic's behavior. When I keep the focus on me, I am not inclined to make things into this or that; or one or the other; hate or love. When I think about it, I don't just eat a veg or a piece of meat, I eat the entire platter.