Originally Posted by
RosieM 
.... an estimate on when I will be able to trust him and show "affection" for him again.
So he wants to have a calendar date of when you'll agree to start having sex with him again. Sorry to sound so cruel, but that's exactly what that sounds like.
Here, look what a good boy I've been. When will you take me back? How 'bout now? No, just forget all that stuff I did. I'm a good boy now, see? You owe it to me to take me back. I want a date. I want a commitment. Now. No, that's not soon enough. How 'bout now?
Do YOU feel the need to put a timetable on things? Does that make YOU feel good? You have already said that he is good for a 6-month relapse. How about giving him a year? How about two years?
How about, "When it feels right in my heart, and it may never feel right." Have you worked through your anger, your hurt? Have you healed yourself? Are you going to couples counseling because YOU want to, or because you think it's the "right" thing to do, some kind of reward for good behavior?
Take care of YOU, Rosie. Do you really want to fall down that well of dread and chaos again, so soon?