AH just showed up at my friend's house. She answered the door, went outside and he wanted to talk to me. She said she would see if I wanted to. He starts saying "so this is how it's gonna be, ok" over and over again to her. I went outside for 2 mins w/her as my witness. He said he was not going to go the court on me, for me not to go to court on him (could it be he's scared cause he did it that very same night that I withdrew the order), told me it's time to divorce and sell the house, I said I agree, he asked me not to do anything rash like buy my own car (my car is in his name now), don't take him off my medical insurance, etc. until we start divorce proceedings, I said I wouldn't do anything rash. He also told me that I could come home, that he would stay upstairs and we'd live that way till the house is sold. This is the same speech over and over, he lives upstairs for the month he's on his bender, then stops drinking and begs forgiveness. I know truly truly know that he needs me there to have someone to start fights with, to give him ammo to drink, to blame, etc. I will NOT give him that opportunity this time. I will NOT go home. And in the past, as you all know, I have said "why should I have to leave my home" and I usually stay. Not this time. I anticipate problems later when my sons (both over 6 feet tall) go w/me to get my stuff, but you know what, I'll deal with it. Then I will stay at my friend's house for a few days to get some clarity and will find an apt, move out during the day while he's at work. Tomorrow I am telling my office manager to change my automatic deposit to my own bank account, so no more funds will be going into the joint account, and tomorrow I know he will call me (has to have that blame, ammo thing) but as far as I'm concerned, I don't need to talk to him about anything. I told him I wasn't going to do anything rash and I'm not. Just no contact at all. I will also warn my co-workers to refuse any flowers with big goodbye ballons (has a habit of doing that too to me) and not to let him in the building. These are steps I have never taken before. Anything else anyone can think of? Thing that bothers me most, I feel so STUPID!!!!