Melissa, you did not do a single thing wrong, neither did my wife.
The best thing my wife did for me was to force me to see what my life would be like without her or anyone else trying help me. The best thing she ever did for me to to make me face my problem alone.
Of course it hurts, there are far more victims of alcoholics then there are alcoholics. There is no reason you can not continue to love him and want the best for him. The best thing for him right now is to let him face it alone. If he ask for help tell him the only help you will give him is to take him to detox/rehab and drop him off.
You need to focus on you and your kids with or without him.