Wow, you all made some really good points. Thank you so much! I am trying to get better at taking care of myself...I'm going to school full time, and thankfully that forces me to focus, but it does get hard. I find myself trying to finish homework by certain times so I can hang out and he won't feel compelled to go out. I see the rediculsouness of this however.
I get so frustrated when he tells me how he's made all of "these changes" and I'm "still not happy". I can't say anything to it b/c the few times I told him he shouldn't have done it for me, he rebutts with how it was mostly for "us". I can't help but feel if that were the case he wouldn't have the resentment about me "not appreciating" his efforts.
I am going to look for a local al-anon meeting today and hopefully I will be able to get some tools for myself. Thanks for the suggestions, you were all very helpful.