Simple-sorry that you are going through this-
I just don't know how to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to help himself.
I have learned that when I take the focus off of someone else i.e. addict or who ever it maybe that is creating me to feel that I cannot have a relationship-with them, my life becomes more managable. I try re-evaluate myself-and if I see myself as "nagging" or anything of that nature I realize that I'm not happy with me! I cannot change or control anyone's life but my own-
Being an ACoA myself I truly believe that it is up to me to get the help that I need-to live my life in the way that I want to live it. This goes for anyone not just someone who is an ACoA!
If someone wants to come along for the ride and support me then GREAT! If I choose not to change or do anything about myself and people start to move away from me-they are doing it for themselves and their own well being. When I nag someone it only creates more chaos for myself-If I stop and control my own life and do what I feel is right-for ME-life becomes easier.
If I feel that I cannot have someone in my life that is not taking care of themselves then I need to do something about that for ME not them!
We all have choices in this life.....but our choices are for our own life not someone elses.
Good Luck to you
Keep posting-