Melissa I am an alcoholic, going to alanon for you and alateen for your daughter is a great move, I would also suggest going to some "Open" AA speaker meetings, this will kind of help you to get an idea of how are minds function when we are in our bottle.
My finally years of drinking my whole world was either drinking or preparing to drink, yes I had the wife and kids and did just what was needed to where I was assured a safe haven in my garage to drink, the world revolved around me and my world revolved around alcohol.
Anything or anyone that tried to control or stop my drinking were avoided at all cost, I blamed all my problems on other people or institutions, it was always bad luck or someone out to get me, never the result of my actions!
Melissa take care of your self and your children, he is the only one who can help him self.
You want to help him? The best thing you can do is if he calls you to bail him out of jail or any other jam don't!!!! Tell him the only thing you will do for him is take him to detox and drop him off. If he is drunk and calls tell him to call back when he is sober and hang up. DO not give, nor loan him any money.
The best thing you can do for him is to force him to face his disease all alone, he needs to figure out where his bottom is, the only way he can find it is if he is allowed to hit it.
I wish you all the best, once we have hit our bottoms we can and do recover, sadly some of us find our bottom 6 foot under.
Just to give you a bit of an idea of a bottom, a bottom varies from one alcoholic to another, for some it can just be a mental bottom, no material loses, no jail or the like, for others it can take the lose of all material goods, jail, prison, mental institutions, homelessness.
He has to find his bottom, as long as someone keeps picking up the pieces for him he will keep digging.