RealityisLife,
Just wanted to send a warm hello and welcome to this wonderful forum and resource. My experience is not the same as yours, although I do live with an alcoholic.
It is WONDERFUL that you are writing in a journal. Writing/art are my therapies too. I hope you aren't like me for the first ten years and only writing about the sorrows. Our joys should be carved in stone and the sorrows written in the sand, as the saying goes.
I will pray for you. Keep going forward, pursuing healthy relationships everywhere you go =-)