Welcome to SR!
I am an RA (recovering addict) but have a long way to go on my codie recovery, so I post on this forum too.
I think I must have not gotten as far into my addiction as I could have, because I always knew it was my fault and I had a problem. I also told my family that I didn't want to do anything about my problem...I was having "fun".
Well, a little time in jail and a diversion center (almost 6 months) got me clean long enough to realize that getting high wasn't "fun" anymore.
I can tell you that a huge part of why I am an RA instead of an active A, is because my family let me fall flat on my face and figure out how to get my life back on track. I won't say they didn't help me....dad put money on my books in jail, but as soon as I got a job at the diversion center, I started trying really hard to not have to ask him for $$. He's helped me out since then, when my car broke down or whatever, but I have always paid him back.
In other words, my ACTIONS have allowed my dad to realize that I am really working at recovery. If I quit acting like a responsible adult, he will not help me. I get respect from him because I give it to him.
As far as getting others to not enable him, you may not be able to. But most addicts run out of enablers after a while. My stepmom has issues with pain meds and I refuse to enable her. My dad used to, but after watching how I deal with her, he is learning that enabling her is only making things worse and I see him repeating what I say or do.
An addict will have no incentive to get clean until they are faced to deal with the consequences. For some, it may take a while, but things usually catch up to them.
The people here are awesome, and I have learned a lot from them, so stick around....codie recovery is contagious!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy