Originally Posted by
Concerned4Bud 
I also think that regardless of my stance on this, besides his wife desperately needing help,...my friend will and should get some counseling too perhaps in a church group or group of spouses of alcolohics.
I absolutely agree --- IF he asks for your help, helping him to locate this sort of support system for himself would certainly fall under the category of 'being a good friend'. Your friend is a grown man, and if he wants your help he will ask for it.
If he does not ask for your help, and you feel yourself jones-ing to load your weapons and charge in there to "save him" from this "evil" situation, then (said kindly) you would want to go back and reexamine your role in this, especially if you have romantic or rescuing feelings about this person. WantsOut is correct in that you cannot know the entire story. And believe me, most of us here know full well how dreadful alcoholic behavior can be, so....
Good luck with everything