Hi Doug,
Congratulations on day 13. I also find posting in this forum helps, articulates my thoughts. Sorry you are feeling so low. If you give it time this will likely improve.
I can't help but wonder...after the h*ll you have gone through, why do you keep booze in the house? Also, and I'm not pushing AA, what turned you off? I just started going a month or so ago..took a few meetings to feel comfortable. Some of the stuff they talk about I can't really relate to but I need the structure & face to face support/friendship to keep myself focused. I know that there are many ways to achieve sobriety but this has been my experience.
"My future should look bright but I can't seem to climb out of the hole I'm in." You have already started to climb out of that hole. What you are doing today makes that future so much more attainable.
Best wishes!