I never had trouble finding a reason to drink...
a sunny day
a rainy day
a cloudy day
I was in a good mood
I was in a bad mood
I was angry
Hangover
no hangover
lots of friends
no friends
bored
a holiday
a barbeque
dinner time
a good movie
football season
hockey season
basketball season
baseball season
I would probably have drank over golf if I could get past how totally boring I find it....lol
the list could go on and on. I drank because that is what my life centered on.
I did not know how to do anything without drinking. I did not know I could do anything without drinking.
I only was able to stop when I realized that I could no longer go on living in the insanity of alcoholism. I was at the place where I could not live drinking but did not know how to live without drinking. I am alive today because I threw myself wholeheartedly into a program of recovery. I was willing to go to any lengths to find sobriety; job or no job, relationship or no relationship, friends or no friends, money or no money, I had finally realized that the outside stuff was not going to get me sober any more than it had the power to make me drunk. It was just life ****. What was going to make a difference was the inside of me and that was what had to change.
I do agree with problem child; a person needs to come to a place where they decide one way or the other; am I going to continue with the insanity or throw myself into the solution. Half way doesn't work for anything except to guarantee failure. I hope you find the place where you are ready to jump into recovery with both feet. I have no regrets for my leap of faith. I have not fallen yet. I truely believe my signature line below as it is proven to me every day in my life.