Thanks Anvil, I try to keep that in mind. My parents divorce scarred me badly but my Dad was a wreck and in no shape to help me and my brother get through it. He turned to med and alcohol to cope. I dropped out of college to help keep him from losing the house and keep him from suicide, which he told me later he thought about daily.
I WILL be there for my kids. I love them dearly and I can't let this continue much longer. Fear has let me keep it going this long and like Bohemi mentioned I know I am empowering her by my lack of a backbone in standing up to her more. Then again, as many of you have mentioned I can only help her so much. She has to help herself and want to be cured, I can only help in that process I can't do it all by myself.