dear joyful,
what a lot you are dealing with. you must be so tired.
the history you describe here sounds like mental illness to me. (i realize bipolar is mental illness, but i am thinking there is another link).
you certainly have an addict husband...but i think one with perhaps serious mental illness, and information about that would help you find your footing in the days and months and years ahead (he will always be your sons' father).
NAMI is the association for people with mental illness and their families and your local chapter may be able to give you some information.
take good care of yourself. don't isolate. seek information like you're starving and it's food.