shake, rattle and hum
my nerves have me shaking, my world is rattled and Im not humming.
Im having a meltdown...
I keep plugging along and I want to save whatever is left of my life, most of the time sort of....
i guess this is my I thought it gets better thread continued.
I dont like when I start thinking that killing myself is probably the best road for me to take cause Im feeling really weak.
I could never ever do that but that in itself has me frustrated. Okay I stopped getting high, but Im really stuck on the pity pot and I dont know how to shake it. Ive been trying to give positive input to others, but deep down im falling apart. iTs way to late for a meeting and im sitting here alone chain smoking and feeling really discouraged. Im tired of complaining, but if I dont reach out I think I will lose my mind.
Im losing my friggin mind.
Tonight Im really missing my zanax, all I want to do is get one night of sleep.
Im more wired than I was when I would smoke crack endlessly for days and weeks at a time.
The bar is still open and im actually contemplating going out.
Then I replay the tape and I know where that will get me so I dont, but man am I frustrated.
OMG im so frustrated. Ive been crying so much i think im getting dehydrated.