He finally called
He finally called today. He was choosing not to call. He said he was dealing with some hard issues and just could not call. He talked to our 3yr old. Who is now much happier. Hopefully that means he will be much easier to put to bed tonight. We will see.
He sounded really upset. We talked for almost an hour. He at first seemed unsure about us. Seemed to think we wouldn't want him to come home after all he had put us through. What ever gave him that idea I have no clue. Yes, I am stress. Yes I am angry and upset with all he has done. But that doesn't change the fact that I love him and he is my husand and the kids father. He belongs here with us as long as he doesn't do drugs agian. I let him know we still love him and still want him to come home and he really broke down. He assured me he loves us and will defiantely be coming home. He will be calling tonight and everyday from now on. I hope that is true because I can not go through another 4 days like the these past 4. I was useless to these kids this way.
I told him they don't have to be long calls. And if he is having a bad day or an intense day and really does not feel like talking then just touch base with me so I know all is ok with us. So a quick call to let me know all is well, say good night to the kids and that is all. I don't need to know anything about his treatment and so on but he does need to stay in contact with me and the kids and not just drop us suddenly like that with no word or idea as to why. He said he was sorry. And assured me he would stay in contact.
He asked me to send his fly tying kit. Says he is bored. lol. I find that a bit funny after all the stuff he had told me about at the beginning of the week that there was to do there. So I told him to find out if that is allowed. If it is then I will see if I can squeeze enough pennies out to send it. Though he only has 11 days left. Man it feels like forever.
That is our continueing soap opera. But tomorrow I am contacting our family counsolor and seeing about setting up an appointment this week just for me to start seeing someone now. I was going to wait till he got back but after the past four days and how hard I took it I need to start seeing someone now and start getting my head on straight before he comes back.
Nikki