He finally called

Old 01-13-2008, 01:12 PM
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He finally called

He finally called today. He was choosing not to call. He said he was dealing with some hard issues and just could not call. He talked to our 3yr old. Who is now much happier. Hopefully that means he will be much easier to put to bed tonight. We will see.

He sounded really upset. We talked for almost an hour. He at first seemed unsure about us. Seemed to think we wouldn't want him to come home after all he had put us through. What ever gave him that idea I have no clue. Yes, I am stress. Yes I am angry and upset with all he has done. But that doesn't change the fact that I love him and he is my husand and the kids father. He belongs here with us as long as he doesn't do drugs agian. I let him know we still love him and still want him to come home and he really broke down. He assured me he loves us and will defiantely be coming home. He will be calling tonight and everyday from now on. I hope that is true because I can not go through another 4 days like the these past 4. I was useless to these kids this way.

I told him they don't have to be long calls. And if he is having a bad day or an intense day and really does not feel like talking then just touch base with me so I know all is ok with us. So a quick call to let me know all is well, say good night to the kids and that is all. I don't need to know anything about his treatment and so on but he does need to stay in contact with me and the kids and not just drop us suddenly like that with no word or idea as to why. He said he was sorry. And assured me he would stay in contact.

He asked me to send his fly tying kit. Says he is bored. lol. I find that a bit funny after all the stuff he had told me about at the beginning of the week that there was to do there. So I told him to find out if that is allowed. If it is then I will see if I can squeeze enough pennies out to send it. Though he only has 11 days left. Man it feels like forever.

That is our continueing soap opera. But tomorrow I am contacting our family counsolor and seeing about setting up an appointment this week just for me to start seeing someone now. I was going to wait till he got back but after the past four days and how hard I took it I need to start seeing someone now and start getting my head on straight before he comes back.
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Old 01-13-2008, 03:21 PM
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He asked me to send his fly tying kit. Says he is bored. ......................he only has 11 days left.
I'm sorry but that does not sound good at all. With only 11 days left, most rehabs have one working 'intensely' on themselves, and on their aftercare plans, what meetings, what counselling, should they go to a sober living home for another month or more, etc.

I hope you are finding a little time for you to attend an Alanon meeting here and there.

Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing, we do care.

Love and hugs,
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Old 01-13-2008, 03:59 PM
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Bored meaning on the weekends and in the evenings. The counslors are not there then. He is the type that thinks the best when his hands are doing. otherwise he goes stir crazy. I have no idea what they would like them to do in the evening. I told him he had to get permission first for me to send it because it has hooks and sizors and so on in it. So I don't know if they will allow it. he is only on an 18 day program(look at me saying only, last night it seemed like eternity). I have no idea about these things. So I have no idea what they want them to do in the evenings.

From how he sounded though the daytimes during the week is very intense. He just could not talk about it. He was crying and so choked up. I have never heard him sound like this before and I have known him since he was 15yrs old.

As for me tomorow I am looking to contact our local drug counsoling services. It is free. It is where my husband was getting his drug and gambling counseling. His counslor had offered to see me before but with all that had been going on I just had not had time. Now I have to go. I have to have someone help me get my head on straight. And that is no joke. it is also where we will go to get our couples counsling when he gets back. He is all for that. Which is a good sign.

So I shall see what tomorrow brings.
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Old 01-13-2008, 04:03 PM
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Nikki,
Glad that you heard from him, and that reassured you.
For the next 11 days, try to get in to see that counselor, and try to get to some Alanon meetings. It's really important that while he is taking care of him, you need to take care of you.

Hugs,
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Old 01-13-2008, 05:02 PM
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Thanks. I am defintely doing the counslor thing. Can't do the meetings. I can't handle a group setting. Hopefully I can in the future. But the counsolor will help.
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Old 01-13-2008, 07:06 PM
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i am really happy for the progress you are experiencing. i know it's up and down and emotional and scary. but it is movement. the real recovery begins when he leaves treatment. so it's really good you are getting a counselor for yourself. you'll have much to process as your husband makes his way through the weeks and months ahead. you'll need someone with good, clear feedback as you sort out all the changes.

but recovery is GOOD change, even though it is messy and stressful.

please remember: it's a long road ahead. i always think of it as a battle. and battles take a long time to win. if you want to stay with him, prepare yourself for a long road. the good news is that at least you are on that road.

all the very best. and don't forget your HP.
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Old 01-13-2008, 07:11 PM
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As long as he is clean I am wanting to work as hard as I can to do what ever it takes for me to recover and our mariage to succeed and our family to heal and become strong.

Right now I just feel like I am constantly running up hill and there is no top. I hope there is, or I hope there is a rest stop because I am getting seriously tired. I hope that makes sense
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Old 01-13-2008, 07:20 PM
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i am glad you are feeling better since he called. i hope you keep coming back here & work your recovery as he is working his. his treatment is just begining as he should do 90 meetings in 90 days after he comes home. it is a long,hard road with an addict. i wish you both the best & will say a prayer for you & your family. hugs,
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Old 01-13-2008, 07:25 PM
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ummm how can he do 90 meetings in 90 days? In our area there are only 2 meetings a week. And that is if he goes to an NA meeting on Friday and an AA meeting on Monday. Oh and then he has his drug counsliong once a week too. That is the problem of living in a small town, not as much access to meetings and resources.

I will find out more hopefully this week when I talk to the counsolor.
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