Sounds like you had a traumatic experience. That's why I quit mushrooms. Had several really good experiences with them. Then one day I had one really bad trip, and really believed I was going to die. Feeling of impending doom, out of control......So I quit that. Every time I smoked pot, I would have a flashback to the same feelings......So I quit that. Alcohol was the only thing left, and it had never made me feel that way. Well, like I said it was the only thing left, but now I feel that way.....So......I quit, and quit, and quit and quit..... Lots of people realize that it needs to end earlier or later than others. Consider yourself lucky for getting out before it got worse. Rock bottom is an individual experience.